The Day (2011) : "The Walking Hungry"

First before you read this review there is something that must be said: This isn't a Zombie movie (gasp!). Well, sort of. But not really. Confused? Read on.........

The premise: Ten years after society collapsed following an unspecified catastrophe, survivors Rick (Dominic Monaghan), Adam (Shawn Ashmore), Henson (Cory Hardrict), Shannon (Shannyn Sossamon), and Mary (Ashley Bell ----probably the only recognizable actor in the movie) wander aimlessly across the scorched earth, seeking sustenance and shelter from the roving hordes of cannibals who consume the living.

OK, so there are no Zombies but there are people eating people. Flesh-eating without all of the "grrrr-arrrrrgh" and all that.

Directed by Douglas Aarniokoski, “The Day” looks radiant and parched, as if shot through an Instagram filter; it’s blandly striking and pretty all at the same time. It reminded me a lot of "Exit Humanity" in its filming style. This is one of those movies that could probably survive on its cinematography alone if there was no dialogue from the cast.


But..........unfortunately there was dialogue. Bad dialogue. Really bad dialogue. Think "every post-apocalyptic movie cliche you have ever heard" bad.

Color me disappointed. Is there an Instagram filter for that?

OK, I'll admit that I was super-pumped about this movie before I watched it, so maybe I had unfairly built it up too much in my head. Unfortunately I found myself at about the 1/2 hour point fighting the urge to turn it off. The characters were sadly one-dimensional, which caused me to lose interest in whether they lived or died. The only remotely interesting character was Mary, who was the stereotypical "loner kick-ass female with a dark secret past to be revealed later".

There's a small plot-twist or two during the movie, but for the most point it was totally predictable. During this time of "The Walking Dead" mid-season hiatus, I was really hoping this could be a nice filler snack. Don't get me wrong, it's not the worst movie I've ever seen.............I was just let down.

My verdict? On a "Zombie Movie Scale of 1-10" I'd give this one a 5.


I wanted to like it more but great cinematography can only make up for so much. If the writers would have made the characters a little multi-dimensional instead of cardboard cut-outs, this would have been a much better movie.

In the interest of full-disclosure and perspective, I did waste an entire hour of my life last nite watching "Zombie Apocalypse" on Discovery HD. "Zombie Apocalypse" was a documentary about a bunch of preppers that are ready for the world to end due to a Zombie uprising. It was a hoaky, horrible waste of an hour of programming. Truly horrible. I would have gladly watched "The Day" again instead of that program..

WATCH IT IF: You have a choice of watching it or "Zombie Apocalypse:, are just jones'n for a post-apocalyptic film and need a fix, or are an Ashley Bell fan.

DON'T WATCH IT IF: You have Season 2 of "The Walking Dead" on your Tivo to catch up on, get turned-off by poor character development and poor dialogue, or have some Christmas present wrapping to do. Even then you could watch it with the sound turned down.

"The Day" is available for streaming on Amazon and can be purchased on DVD from many sources.

More info can be found on IMDB here: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1756799/

Up next: Due to the impending Christmas Holiday, we may take a break for a week. When we come back we'll take a look at "The Dead". Merry Chistmas and thanks for reading!

Cockneys vs Zombies (2012) : Let the British Zombie Invasion begin

On the heels of "Doghouse", I decided to keep the Anglo-Zombie trend alive by checking out "Cockneys vs Zombies".  I haven't seen a bad Zombie film in awhile, so I was afraid that I was due a flop. Thankfully my streak of good luck continues.............

Much like "Snakes on a Plane" or "Alien vs. Predator", the title tells you more or less what to expect. So don't get your hopes up for something that's going to win an Academy Award, or even a lesser-valued Screen Actors Guild award. But People's Choice award? Maybe...........if there was a category of "Wildly Entertaining".




They could have called this film "Lock, Stock and Two Headless Zombies" because it had a total Guy Ritchie feel to it: the filming style, angles, the non-stop action, and Cockney accents so bad they made me wonder what language they were speaking. It all works, and works well. I shouldn't be surprised that a Brit Zombie film emulated his style as he has spawned many copycats over the years.

The Plot Summary from IMDB:

"This British movie is about a group of inept criminals who decide to rob a bank so they can save their grandfather's retirement home from being demolished by developers. Meanwhile on another building site some workers dig up an old graveyard and they get bitten by the "undead" which sets off a chain reaction. Then the bank robbers are cornered by the police while in the process of the robbery, but when they exit they find that they are all dead as a result of the horde of zombies. They have to get to the retirement home before the zombies do! "

Zombies and septuagenarians and bank robbers?! Please take my money now!

The script was done by James Moran. You might not know that name, but if you are a Sci-Fi fan you definitely know some of his work: Doctor Who, Torchwood, and Primevil. The story is fast-paced and pretty much keeps you on the edge of your seat most of the time. The intertwining of the different plots into one works very well. I especially loved the scenes where the retirees were fighting off or running walking away from the Zombies.


There are a few actors in this movie that you will recognize if you are a fan of British films and programming: Alan Ford ("Snatch"), Honor Blackman (the original "Avengers" series and "Goldfinger"), Michelle Ryan ("Dr Who", "Merlin", "Bionic Woman", and "Jeckyll"), and Georgia King ("The New Normal").

My verdict? On a "Zombie Movie Scale of 1-10" I'd give this one a solid 7.5

I had a great time watching this movie! Even if I couldn't understand half of what they were saying at times due to the Cockney accents, I still loved it. I can't recall the last time I laughed and cheered so much during a movie.

WATCH IT IF: You liked both "Shaun of the Dead" and "Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels", can't wait to see septuagenarians kicking some Zombie butt, or are just looking for a good, entertaining action film.

DON'T WATCH IT IF: you have something against thick British accents, don't like the elderly, or don't like being entertained: in otherwords, if you are a prude.

Althought it was released in August in the UK, "Cockneys vs Zombies" is not yet available for viewing in the USA. It is slated for US DVD and download release sometime in early 2013. When I have more info on the release date I'll post it up here. Don't miss this one!

More info can be found on IMDB here: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1362058/

Up next week: The post-apocalypic flick "The Day".

Doghouse (2009) : Getting back my "mens card".

One thing that you may or may not know about me is that in addition to Zombie movies, I love chick flicks. I mean, sappy, sobby, get-the-tissue-box-out and have-a-good-cry chick flicks. Think "The Notebook" or "Time Traveler's Wife". Watch enough of these movies and you get a letter from the Card Carrying Men's Club (CCMC) stating that your membership card is about to be revoked and you are no longer allowed to use the secret handshake.

 

Thankfully, once in a great while a movie like "Doghouse" comes along to make everything right again.
 

Here's the official movie description on IMDB:

"Vince is handling his divorce badly. He's depressed. Gone to pieces. But his mates aren't giving up on him. Struggling with their own women troubles, they drag him off for an ultimate lads drinking weekend in the country. Arriving in the village of Moodley where the women outnumber the men 3:1, the boys find themselves holidaying in a village overrun by psychotic, homicidal Zombirds with a thirst for male flesh"

With a description like that, you know you are in for one fine piece of CCMC membership-restoring cinema. That's not to say only men would like this movie: any non-PC person, male or female, with a penchant for British humour should be entertained. Think Benny Hill meets "Shaun of the Dead".

Nearly every stereo-typical female Zombie is represented in this flick:

• beautician Zombie
• barmaid Zombie
• bride Zombie
• politician Zombie
• teenage girl Zombie
• female butcher Zombie
• hugely obese housewife dressed in a bathrobe and hair curlers Zombie

Doghouse is directed by Jake West. If you recognize that name he's done some other iconic, campy movies in the last few years, most notably "Evil Aliens". While "Evil Aliens" was done with a shoestring budget, its obvious that West raised some more cash for Doghouse as the production quality and effects are much better.

Don't watch this movie if you are looking for something that's going to scare the hell out of you or keep you from your beauty rest due to nightmares; its not that kind of movie. But if you liked "Shaun of the Dead", "Zombieland", or "Zombie Strippers"; you'll be laughing out loud. Before you know it 85 minutes will have went by and you won't feel bad about it! There are some great Zombie kills that had me cheering and rolling in my seat at the same time.

It wasn't all good, though. To be honest, I was a bit let-down by the ending. That seems to be the problem with a lot of Zombie flicks. Its like the crew and actors get burnt out near the end and just get together and say "OK, let's end this thing". But other than that, I had a great time. And earned my CCMC card back.

My verdict? On a "Zombie Movie Scale of 1-10" I'd give this one a solid 6.

If they would have done a better job with the ending, it may have earned a 6.5 or 7. While PC folks may find it slightly mysoginistic, "Doghouse" is wildly entertaining and a bit of a guilty pleasure. The mix of British humour and campy horror is a winning combo. The Brits just seem to know how to do the Zombie genre well.

WATCH IT IF: you liked "Shaun of the Dead", are jones'n for fun Zombie kills and some brain-dead entertainment, or you need to get your mens club card back.

DON'T WATCH IT IF: you are strongly PC, or somewhat PC and think you secretly might like it and therefor be a bad person, or you are a typical male that watches waaaaay too many movies that ojectify women-folk and need to offset that by watching "The Notebook" instead.

"Doghouse" is available for streaming thru Netflix. It is also available to purchase in DVD format from Amazon.com.

More info can be found on IMDB here: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1023500/

Next Week: We continue the anglo-zombie trend and take a look at "Cockneys vs Zombies".

The Walking Dead mid-season finale: Let the withdrawal symptoms begin

OH BOY! If you haven't had a chance to catch the mid-season finale that aired on Sunday, 12/2 stop reading now, as this contains spoilers and some (personal) predictions and observations......

Here's a quick recap of the episode:

Rick, Michonne, and the crew finally make it into Woodbury to save Glenn and Maggie. Glenn makes a dagger from the fore-arm of a walker and almost escapes with Maggie, only to be caught by Merle and crew. Thankfully Rick shows up to save the day and makes it out of there with Maggie and Glenn in tow. Daryl stays behind to cover them as they go over the wall, and then apparently (we never see it) gets caught.

At the prison a new group of stragglers shows up. This group contains Tyreese, who I have been waiting to show up. Carl shows what a little bad-ass he has become and brings them in while at the same time putting them in their place. The scraggly blonde prisoner appears to be making the moves on Hershel's youngest daughter, and Carol nips that in the bud rather quickly.

While all of this was going on Andrea was trying her damnest to get in the middle of everything but yet somehow never saw any of the people she knew from Rick's group.

Meanwhile, Michonne waits patiently for the Governor in his room, presumably to dish out a little justice with the sharp side of her blade. She becomes distracted by noises in the adjacent room and discovers the heads in the fishtanks, and Penny. Of course the Governor shows up at that moment, and Michonne puts her sword thru Penny's head. A fight ensues, with Michonne getting away, only after she sticks a shard of fish-tank glass thru the Governor's right eye.

Of course this means that Merle was lying to the Governor when he told him he killed Michonne a few episodes back, so the Governor takes out his wrath on Merle by calling him out in the square in front of the townsfolk and have him arrested for being a traitor. It's then that a captured Daryl is brought out in front of everyone. The episode ends leaving you with the feeling that a fight to the death is going to be staged between Daryl and Merle for the townsfolks entertainment.

Whew! That was a lot to happen in an hour, while at the same time leaving you wanting more. I guess that's what a mid-season finale is supposed to do; get you on the line and set the hook.

I was wondering what they were going to do with Merle when the group catches up to him after his beat-down of Glenn and his attempt at killing Michonne. It seems like they have set it up to where there is a possiblity he may end up back with the group now that he is an outcast in Woodbury, but that assumes he survives his impending fight with his brother.

I'm glad that Tyreese is finally brought into the plot line! In the comics he is probably the closest thing to a friend that Rick has, and is a pretty stand-up guy. He shows up rather early on in the comic series so this is a bit of a late intro for him, but we all know the show doesn't exactly follow the comic so that's to be expected.

OK, so I mentioned that the blonde scraggly prisoner is getting friendly with Hershel's youngest daughter. This makes me think they may make his character somewhat like the psychotic inmate in the comics that kills two of Hershel's daughters and cuts their heads off. He seemed mild-mannered and nice in the comic and everyone thought he was in there for embezzeling or some other white-collar crime, when in fact he was a freaky serial killer. Watch this guy.

So now what do you do now that the next new episode isn't going to air until FEBRUARY 10th, 2013? Well there are a few things....

1. You can check out the "Revolution" series, or what I like to call "Walking Dead Lite". Check out my review from last week on this one.

2. If you haven't read any of the comics yet, now is a great time. I wouldn't read much past #30 if you don't want any potential spoilers. They are a great (and quick) read and give some interesting back-story to many of the characters. Just remember that the TV series and the comics are the same story going down two slightly different paths. Some characters exist on TV while they don't in the comics, and visa versa.

3. Watch "The Walking Dead" season 1 and 2 again. They are both available now on Netflix. You'd be surprised how many things you missed the first time you saw them. Also on New Year's Eve and New Year's Day, AMC will be running a Walking Dead marathon. So if you don't have Netflix, set your DVR's/VCR's.

4. Read "Rise of the Governor".  This is Kirkman's first non-graphic novel and is a great, quick read. The story follows a completely different set of survivors and gives you an insight into why the Governor is who he is. "Rise of the Governor" is available in book format and is also available for download to your Kindle on amazon.com. There are a few differences between this "Governor" and the TV series version, but it's still damn good.


5. Read my blog. Yes, if you haven't read it already, I've reviewed a bunch of Zombie flicks and some of them are actually pretty good. Read about them and check them out if you want.

OK, that's all I've got for now. Thanks for reading, and if you have any additional thoughts or observations I'd love to hear them.

Up next week: We check out "Doghouse"......

Revolution: aka "Walking Dead Lite"

You may have read a few times here that my sig-other has a rather bad fear of Zombies. She refuses to watch any thing that has Zombies in it...........even if they are cute and cuddly Zombies. I personally didn't understand her (in my mind) irrational fear until one day I realized that by definition every phobia is irrational. I personally am afraid of heights and clowns (not in that order), and to some that probably sounds even stranger than Zombies.

So for years I've lived with watching Zombie-esque entertainment behind closed doors and/or own my own. Until now.

Enter "Revolution" on NBC.

Revolution has all of the ingredients of a Zombie Apocalypse..............except for no Zombies. Simply turn off the power, wait 15+ years, and see what has happened to civilized society. After all, most great Zombie movies have major or minor subplots certered around how bad the still-living humans are and how badly they treat each other.

Finally something I can watch with the sig-other and get somewhat of a Zombie fix! Granted its a little like drinking lite beer when you were hoping for a big bold stout..........but it does still quench my thirst.

The story line is pretty good, and the fact that John Favreau (of "Iron Man" fame) is involved means that the show has some weight behind it. I don't want to give too much away, so check it out for yourself. Watch the first episode and decide for yourself.......maybe after the "mid season finale" of Walking Dead is over next week you'll find yourself looking for a fix and this may just be the ticket.

 

More info can be found here on the official website: http://www.nbc.com/revolution/

Revolution is available on Hulu Plus, and also on NBC On Demand if you subscribe to Time-Warner Cable.

Up next week: We talk about the mid-season finale of Walking Dead.............

Pontypool (2008) : Yet another Canadian surprise

You were probably expecting a review on Resident Evil Extinction, but I decided to take a break from the Resident Evil series to talk about yet another fine Canadian Zombie film: Pontypool.

I watched this movie last week while I was in China early one morning at about 3:00am. My sleep schedule was all messed up, and I decided to watch something that I thought might suck in case I finally became sleepy and didn't catch the ending. I mean, lets face it, there are a lot of bad Zombie flicks out there.

Maybe it was my insomnia, maybe it was the fact that I was sitting alone in a hotel room 8000 miles away from home watching it in the dark............I don't know............but whatever it was, this movie creeped me out. I mean REALLY creeped me out.

The movie almost entirely takes place inside a radio studio, where cowboy-hat-wearing radio talk show host Grant Mazzy has recently began his employment after being fired from another radio station for probably just being himself: an arrogant self-centered guy who drinks whiskey-spiked coffee at 6:00am has no problem finding a way to piss off anyone and everyone he comes in contact with.


Mazzy has a strange encounter with a woman along the road on his way to work, and slowly the strangeness of the day builds to the point where its obvious that something is going terribly wrong in the town of Pontypool, Ontario. As a veteran Zombie fanatic like myself, you'll see the signs early on of a Zombie infection even though it takes awhile for our main characters to catch on, albeit a little late. It takes one of them to get infected to impart the true gravity of the epidemic to our host and his assistant.

"Pontypool" is an extreme departure from your typical Zombie film in several ways. First (and don't be disappointed), you hardly see ANY Zombies. You hear about them in news reports and a few pop up, but for the most part you see less Zombies in this film than the first 5 minutes of your average "Walking Dead" episode. Second, and most important, the Zombie "virus" is not spread by any means that we are used to. It's not airborne. Not in the water. Not spread by touch. Not by bites. I won't give it away but when I finally figured it out and thought about it in detail THAT'S when I really became creeped out..........

I won't give away any more of the plot because if you haven't yet seen this movie, you owe it to yourself to check it out. I ended up watching it a second time during my China trip because there were a few parts I wanted to take a second look at. That should tell you something.

My verdict? On a "Zombie Movie Scale of 1-10" I'd give this one a solid 7.5.

The "less-is-more" style of storytelling, combined with the strange plot-twist and great acting, made this movie very enjoyable and engaging. Even people who aren't Zombie fanatics will like this one. Just don't watch it alone in your hotel room in China at 3:00am.

WATCH IT IF: you, like me, seem to have a thing for Canadian Zombie movies, or are looking for something different. Or are stuck in a hotel in China with the urge to be really freaked out.

DON'T WATCH IT IF: you dislike anything Canadian eh, or are a purist and only like your Zombie movies full of hordes, big guns, and bad acting.

 

Pontypool is available for streaming thru Netflix. It is also available in DVD format from RedBox and Amazon.

More info can be found on IMDB here: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1226681/

Next Week: If you're reading this, drop me a line and tell me what you would like for me to watch and review......

Resident Evil Apocalypse (2004) : Bad Girls, Big Guns and Bigger Stereotypes

Traveling to China is both a blessing and a curse. A blessing because I have countless hours on an airplane to catch up on my movies as long as I remember to load them on my tablet. And a curse because the internet here in China SUCKS so I don't get to stream ANYTHING. So if you saw the latest episode of Walking Dead on Sunday, for the love of God, DO NOT speak to me or offer up any spoilers. I have no way of seeing it over here in the land of eternal smog until I get home later this coming weekend.

So on the plane on the way over I caught up on a few Zombie flicks, and the first was "Resident Evil: Apocalypse". I've seen this one before but since its been a long time. Since I just watched the first Resident Evil last week, I figured the sequel was in order.

The movie picks up right where the first one leaves off: Alice awakens in Raccoon City to find it turned into an apocalyptic mess thanks to her seemingly careless ex-coworkers at the Umbrella Corporation. Half the city's inhabitants are already infected and killing the other half, and Umbrella has sealed off the city: planning to clean-up the area with a nuclear incident.

Joining with a group of survivors, Alice makes a deal with an Umbrella scientist who promises to get them out of town as long as they rescue his daughter. Meanwhile Umbrella has its own plans for Alice, involving a seven-foot armour-clad mutant called Nemesis who's using the infested city as a training ground. Mayhem ensues, complete with huge guns and heroines clad in outfits that in the real world wouldn't stay on during such fierce fighting.

Sienna Guillory plays tough-chick super cop Jill Valentine, complete with super short mini-skirt, tailored tube-top, boots and guns. Her character is such a stereotype its actually entertaining, giving Alice a run for the "toughest bitch" award.

Speaking of stereotypes, Mike Epps plays a character that appears to be a cross between a missing Wayans brother and Huggie Bear. Though entertaining at first, I was quickly rooting for him to become a snack.


The rest of the cast does a pretty decent job of acting, although I found myself wishing there were more Zombies and less people that I was supposed to be invested in. As a summer blockbuster action film, which is what I think it was intended to be, this movie does a good job of keeping things moving along at a fast pace and keeping me engaged. But the Zombies play second-fiddle to super-monsters and evil corporations.

My verdict? On a "Zombie Movie Scale of 1-10" I'd give this one a 5

Sadly, it doesn't live up to the original Resident Evil in terms of plot or Zombie content. Thankfully there still plenty of Alice kicking ass in the movie, which ultimately probably saved it for me from being a 3 or 4. I hope the next RE movie gets back to its roots....

WATCH IT IF: you like watching dominant women shooting big guns and generally kicking ass, want to give your home theatre a workout with the several-thousand rounds of gunfire and explosions, or just want something brain-dead (pun intended) to watch and not think about anything.

DON'T WATCH IT IF: you were hoping to see a Zombie-focused movie, think super-corporations are too often demonized and have a chip on your shoulder about it, or are a card-carrying metrosexual and don't like the idea of watching dominant women shooting big guns and generally kicking ass.

"Resident Evil: Apocalypse" is available for streaming thru Amazon Prime and Netflix, and is also available for purchase from many locations.

More info can be found on IMDB here: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0318627/

Up Next: Resident Evil: Extinction