Dead & Breakfast (2004) : It's like a bad horror movie.....only worse.

I had never heard of this movie until a few weeks ago when I wanted to watch a zombie flick, but wasn't in the mood to be filled with despair and gloom afterwards.  I did a google search for "best Zombie comedies" and it popped up in several lists.  With the hundreds of Zombie movies that have been made in the last 20 years or so, I was certain that just because I had never watched it, or even heard of it before, didn't mean that it wasn't good.

A quick search on IMDB and a few other sites showed that it received ratings of mediocre to good, which for die-hard Zombie genre fanatics means it could be "OK to Great". So I figured it was probably worth the risk to invest 88 minutes to watch it.

The tag-line for the movie should have given me a clue as to what I was in for: "It's like a bad horror movie.....only worse."

OK, the beginning of the movie showed promise. The opening animation and artwork were pretty awesome. That sort of stuff draws me in probably more than it generally should. Then the next 10 minutes or so the group of 20-somethings in the Winnebago were really annoying. I started to rethink my decision until they met the singing gas station attendant and his band. AWESOME! They were sort of the comic music relief that popped up periodically in the movie, much like the band in "Something About Mary".

Unfortunately, the band was the best part of the movie, and even their periodic appearance couldn't save what was otherwise a HORRIBLE film. The producers/writers were obviously influenced by "The Evil Dead" as this movie tried hard to be like it (in one of the scenes there is even an "Evil Dead 2" poster in the background)..............but in the end it was worse. And that says a lot, since honestly I think "The Evil Dead" and it's remake, "Evil Dead 2" were pretty horrible. Blasphemy, I know. I just didn't like those movies. I'll get to that in another review though, so lets not sidetracked here.

I think on paper this movie probably was better than it was in reality. It probably wouldn't have been bad if executed correctly. Even the inclusion of David Carradine (awww!) and Diedrich Bader ("Louis" from "The Drew Carey Show") couldn't save it. The filming was bad, lighting was worse than a high-school production, special effects and make-up were worse than the first season of "Buffy the Vampire Slayer", and the acting...........if you can call it that...........was dreadful. After about 40 minutes I started looking at my watch wondering if I should pull the ripcord. Finally at about the hour mark, after the singing gas station attendant was killed off............I hit the stop button on the remote.

The next day at work while talking to a co-worker, I was telling him about the movie and the fact that it was so bad I stopped watching, and he reminded me of my commitment to give an accurate review. How could I give an accurate review if I didn't watch the whole thing? Dammit. Back at home later that evening I finished it....................and believe it or not.............................it didn't get any better. Nope.


My "accurate review" statement above made me ponder upon something; who the hell are those people on IMDB and other sites that gave this movie a good rating? Were they actually watching it? Sober? With at least one eye open? If so there should be some sort of punishment given to them. Seriously. Not only is this probably one of the worst Zombie movies I have ever watched.........its quite possibly one of the top 5 worst movies of all time. True story.

My verdict? On a "Zombie Movie Scale of 1-10" I'd give this one a NEGATIVE 2.

I didn't think I could find a movie that was any worse than "Brain Dead".........and yet somehow I managed to do just that.

WATCH IT IF: Um.............I got nothing. Stay away.

DON'T WATCH IT IF: You have any self-esteem what-so-ever.

"Dead & Breakfast" is available for streaming on Amazon Prime, unfortunately.

More info can be found on IMDB here: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0350774/

Up next: The French Zombie flick "The Horde".